I never want to see another naked old woman again.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
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