just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Randomize
