so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize