Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
i now understand why vodka
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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