Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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