I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
