this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
