YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
