shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
