I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
