okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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