I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Just high enough for therapy.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
