so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
