So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
