it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
