what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Randomize