yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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