your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
