pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
