i think my mom watched the whole time
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
