It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
