I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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