those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
