Dual....:-)
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
