Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize
