birth control should be required to get into college
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
