i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
