Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Let's get the cat blown out
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Randomize
