May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize