I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
