Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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