And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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