I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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