your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
