At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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