He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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