Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
