Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
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