2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize