dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Send help, water and tortillas.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
