I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
