so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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