I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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