I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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