i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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