Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
