i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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