I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
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i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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