so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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