Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
