Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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