Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
