you would pick up someone in the library
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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