let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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