i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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