I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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