did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
