I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
