nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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