Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
