I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
