My brain says no but my pants say off.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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