He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
