My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
