So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
