ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
