did you get engaged???
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
