Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
