You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize