Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I need to calm my uterus...
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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