i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
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