i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Randomize
