theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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