Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
