my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
