People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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