Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
